Fancy Dress Shenanigans

Halloween.

Playing dress up is fun. However, over the years I have come to despair more and more at the costumes on offer. Boys seem to get the coolest outfits, whilst us poor girlies are more and more being inundated with costumes such as ‘Sexy Batwoman‘, ‘Little Red Riding Hood‘, and ‘Alice in Wonderland‘.

The one thing these all have in common? They would be well at home in an Anne Summers catalogue. Which I have no problem with, because Anne Summers rocks. I’m more than happy to dress up in clothing that will flash a bit of boob and leg. That said, I have things like Rocky Horror for that.

More to the point – in the UK, Halloween is at the time of year when temperatures are dropping, and it’s usually raining. I’d rather wear something a little bit warmer. So this year, I’m rebelling.

I shall be The Shadow Witch! Which I may have just totally made up.

Shadow witch is down with modern technology.
Shadow witch is down with modern technology.

She even has a back story. Which again, I may have just made up.

Once upon a time, in a forest on your doorstep, a woman was walking on dark path on All Hallows Eve. Nary a star was in the night sky, for it was the deepest dark of dark nights. The moon hid behind blackened cloud, wary of the creatures lurking below. The woman was walking, and came across an eldritch grove, lit up by an eerie luminescence. Curious as to the cause of this light on such a dark path, the woman found herself a curiosity stick, and stepped further into the grove. She poked around the sparse area, jabbing tentatively at anything that was sticking up. Into the grove sneaked a mischievous imp, who promptly bound our heroine with strands of light.

‘Help! Help!’ cried the woman.

The imp laughed manically. There was no help forthcoming.

‘On this, the darkest of dark nights, I must sustain myself on the light within others!’, cried the imp.

‘Please, oh fearsome imp, my light is small and un-nourishing. Will you not allow me to win my freedom?’ wept the woman. The imp, not really all that bad a sort, pondered for a while.

‘Very well!’, said the fearsome imp. ‘Answer my riddle, and I shall feast elsewhere this night!’. Our unlikely heroine eagerly nodded assent, desperate to escape. The imp smiled, and through wicked lips, hissed:

‘What is brown and sticky?’

The woman, unversed in puns and riddles, was unable to answer. The imp laughed manically, and gobbled up all of our heroines light, until she was but a shadow of her former self. As she cried, the imp, indeed unsatisfied with the meager meal, began to feel pity for the woman.

‘On this night, every year, I will give you a chance to win back your light,’ said the imp. He gave our heroine a rather dashing hat. ‘Wear this, so I can recognise your shadow, and return with the answer to my riddle.’ The imp disappeared in a puff of green smoke, and, free from his grasp, our heroine dashed away from the eldritch grove, desperate to solve the riddle and win back her light.

Even now, she can be found, clad in darkness, still wielding her curiosity stick, trying – and failing – to find that which is brown and sticky, never realising that she had been in possession of the answer all along.

The moral of the story? Never let your curiosity get the better of you.

Anyways, I personally think my costume is bad-ass. The morph suit will keep me warm. I get to wear my coat. The hat will shield me from the rain. Plus, I’m sure that the morph suit can be re-purposed for future fancy dress shenanigans, which is all over a win in my book. More to the point, I won’t feel self-conscious if I happen to go out trick or treating with a couple of little girls. 🙂

It looks like a broom stick, but it *is* a curiosity stick.
It looks like a broom stick, but it *is* a curiosity stick.
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