I’m actually laughing at the ridiculousness of this. I’m still quite angry, but you really couldn’t make this up. How is it even possible to be this bad at customer service?

Do they have a gremlin invasion at Argos HQ? Really bad IT? Whatever is causing it, the left hand blatantly doesn’t know what the right is doing.

So, an update. Everything was resolved, rejoice!

Ok, I tell a lie. Nothing seems to have been resolved. I sent them the following email on Wednesday the 30th – if you remember my previous post about Argos, you’ll know that this is now after the time frame in which I was supposed to be contacted by their collections/refund department:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing once again as I have still not been contacted by your collections department to arrange a pick up of the most-of-bed you managed to eventually deliver – the order number is  ********.

I’d have thought that complaining once about the complete lack of communication would have been enough – but from looking at the complaints on your facebook page, this issue seems to be endemic.

I also took the liberty of checking out the bed I initially ordered on your website – for a bed that I was told on Sunday was out of stock, meaning I’d have to wait 2 weeks to have an *entire* bed delivered to get the correct part (which, added to the lack of call back on Sunday prompted my request for collection and refund) – I find that your website is still advertising the bed as in stock, and available for delivery within 5 days! I even managed to add it to my shopping cart! Your advertised delivery timescale is a blatant lie – in fact, the very same lie that had me ordering this bed in the first place.

Going by some of the complaints on your facebook page, I am beginning to get serious concerns that I will ever see a refund. If the process of collection and refund does not begin today, I’ll be escalating this as far as possible. I will email a formal complaint to your CEO, I will be in touch with the Citizens Advice Beareau, and I will be in touch with Trading Standards to report the mis-representation of your stock levels on your website and your reluctance to begin the refund process. Just to ensure that there is a full representation of facts here, I have also taken pictures of the entire issue (see the attached), and also a picture showing that the useless pieces of wood you sent me are in good order, propped up in my living room.

I am down £300 in time for christmas. That is money that I’d rather see spent on my own family and friends than sitting in your bank account. I have ordered a bed from Bensons, who tell me that they will deliver a bed on the 23rd December. If not for the misrepresentation of your stock levels and delivery estimates in the first place, I’d no doubt already be the happy owner of a king size bed as I would have ordered from elsewhere. It’s unfortunate that I now do not have a bed for any visiting family to sleep on when they visit in the run up to christmas. So, thanks!

I have already shared my experience with friends and family, along with a strong recommendation to avoid doing business with you in the future. I’ll be continuing to document this process as I take this further.

Please let me know when I can expect your collections team to actually pick up the pieces of wood taking up space in my house. At this rate, Bensons will no doubt have delivered their bed before your team actually get around to this, which will no doubt give the internet a good laugh!

Oh, the delivery charge finally got refunded. Thanks. I’ve yet to hear about being reimbursed for my loss of earnings on the 21st. I posted the required information first class delivery on the 23rd, so you should have received it by now. I’m now realising that I should have sent this recorded delivery, as you’ve no doubt managed to ‘not receive’ your mail.

Thank you for your email regarding order number *********.

I was very concerned to learn of your situation and would like to apologise for the obvious disappointment caused.

Your order is stating that the collection is arranged for today 2nd December.

I can see by the notes on your order that one of my colleagues has sent a letter to you regarding your loss of earnings explaining what information we need. Once we receive this we will happily look into this for you.

On behalf of Argos Ltd, I am sorry for the disappointment and inconvenience this matter has caused you.

Since then, I am back to listening to crickets. On the off chance that I may actually witness some collections people turn up at my door, I have arranged to work from home for the rest of the day. Thankfully, I can work remotely and I have an understanding manager, plus I only live about 5 minutes away from the office. That said, I estimate I’m only going to be in until 5pm. At this point, it is the best I can do to try and get the most of bed out of my living room.

At this point, I have decided that I will be emailing the CEO once this is getting to a point where it looks like it is almost sorted, and I’ll definitely be giving Trading Standards a call. Because this bloody bed is still showing up as available to be delivered within 5 days.

I would have liked this to be the final blog post about all of this, but I suspect that this series of posts is going to go on much longer. Apologies for that – normal programming will resume eventually, namely where I start to talk about my new-found Minecraft addiction.